Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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