? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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