I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
