I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
