Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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