that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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