the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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