I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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