It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
