More tranny stories later!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
