I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
