he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Green mimosas i think yes
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
50% drunk capacity currently
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
