Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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