LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
