My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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