I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Everclear isn't food dammit
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
