I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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