I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
