Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
