Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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