I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
