Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
