dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
