It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
