So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
