Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
