You work out of a Hotel?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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