Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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