I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
