soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
