So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
