anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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