So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
