On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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