If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
