I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
