I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
