don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
