Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
