I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I showed him my bush... on skype.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
