DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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