So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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