I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
