There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
