so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
