i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
