There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
