It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
cat food counts as protein by the way
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
