broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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