dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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