We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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