If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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