Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
